Saturday, November 25, 2006

numb to the highest level

i am taken no more last november 21. i got hurt, yeah.. but not that much. i cried.. but just the right amount of tears to be shed for someone like my ex. i never gave up on the relationship.. on us.. because i know.. we can make it. i have never been this positive in my whole life. i even have plans of marrying the ex. but sadly.. when you're tired and you're fed up.. even if you know you love the person far more than you could.. even if it'll hurt like hell.. you just have to give up.. because you ran out of reasons to stay.. add to that the fact that you also ran out of reasons to fight for the love you believed will last a lifetime.


sometimes i would ask myself if the problem is me. after my ex of 2 years and 9 months, i never seem to have a relationship longer than 6 months. wala ng sumunod na matino after nya. ok i'll be honest. i would be lying if i say na i don't feel anything for that ex (2yrs), pero naman may sarili na syang life.. a life that is a zillion times away from me.. a life that does not include me. so why bother?? argh. im making my life complicated. screw me.
i just wish my ex the best. alam ko nasaktan ko sya sa mga nasabi ko the day we called it quits. by im only human. and i have the right to get mad.. naubos na pasensya ko. sana lang, hindi ganito ang ending. i don't want my ex to hate me and vice versa. but wtf, i hate my ex. haha. i hate my ex to pieces. and god knows i don't want to see my ex, kahit marinig ang name nya. it makes me uncomfortable. ewan ko ba, para kasing ginawa nya kong tanga eh. at syempre pa, kaya ako naiinis kasi nagpakatanga rin ako. i could have said no, or i could have just ended the relationship a month ago. pero hindi ko nga ginawa. baket? eh kasi nga mahal ko sya. pero totoo pala yun, pwedeng mapalitan ng galit ang pagmamahal sa isang tao. when that happens.. there's no turning back.


ewan ko. di ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko sayo. ikaw ex na 2 yrs, mahal pa rin kita till now. it sucks.


sa recent ex ko naman. I HATE YOU. magpatingin ka na sa psychologist or whatever. basta.


nakakapagod maghintay at sabihin sa sarili mo na meron naman itinakda para sayo. pero pano kung wala? pano kung sinabi lang nila yun para di naman masakit tanggapin sa mga taong tatanda pala mag isa?? baket ba di na lang kasi sabihin na habang buhay ka ng mag isa, ja.. at wala ng magtatagal sayo dahil hanggang 6 months ka lang.. aray ko!


but i still believe in love.. *sigh*
i look upon the moon and stars at 8:31:00 PM
0 stars were shining bright even without the moon